This is why New Mexico will never host an olympics

We've had record lows this past week here. And by "record lows" I mean colder than I can remember it being. Everything is shut down, except restaurants and stores, which is good because I do not know how to hunt animals for food (although this would be a good time to start the paleo diet).

Based on this statement, you must be thinking, "boy, they sure got a lot of snow". Or "where is New Mexico again"? Or even "I thought this would be an adequate answer as to why New Mexico has never hosted an olympics". Which it kind of is. We got about 3 inches of snow on wednesday, but it's gone now. And has been since thursday. Except for right by my front door, because for some reason, it's a completely different biome by my front door. TROPICAL VINES GROW THERE.

I hate it when it's too hot or too cold. Firstly, I have a swamp cooler, which is shit when it's too hot and it just rained cause it pretty much just blows the hot, humid air back into my apartment and adds MORE water to it. I'm all for good skin, but that just seems wasteful. Secondly, my apartment does not have a heater that was made in the last 60 years, or a functioning heater (same thing). So when it's too cold, or any temperature below 50 degrees, I am confined to the 3 foot radius that surrounds my spaceheater. Or my bed. Or both. Unfortunately, I'm obsessively clean. But I can't clean when I may get frostbite or heat stroke. So this winter, my bedroom has turned into a sort of nest. Even to the point that I keep my clothes around my bed thus allowing me to change into them without leaving the warmth of my nest.


Outside, the snow was fine. In fact, I think snow is weather's way of making the threat of death from exposure a little more fun. "You'll lose valuable fingers, but look! playstuff!". What's awful is the drivers. AND the fact that I never heard the news use the phrase "inclement weather". (Seriously, how often do you get to use the word "inclement"???) I drove about 3 miles to get food, and the other drivers were all "how can you go faster than 20 miles per hour!". "I must stop your haphazard ways by making all roads in this town school zones!!" And moreso, they drive 20 but STILL SLIP ON THE ROADS. Inclement drivers. pfft.

According to the electric company, we are not prepared to handle temperatures under 40 degrees for any extended period of time in this area. Because of this, the area has been experiencing rolling blackouts. If the electric company had a good PR firm, they would have called them "return to roots time" (not to be confused with return to Alex Haley's Roots time). Families could gather around a candle, and tell stories or play old timey games.

So, unfortunately, New Mexico (and Las Cruces in particular) will never host an olympics. Summer or winter. Summer mostly because we need large bodies of water for the synchronized swimming stuff and waterskiing competitions and all we have is burn lake which I think is made by children damming up the arroyos.